Sparks Will Fly, Literally
by Plague's Vengeance
Summary: Lorelei Witwicky didn't think she was normally an aggressive person, but when her Uncle Ron Witwicky pulled her out of bed in the middle of the night because her cousin Sam Witwicky managed to get arrested and then almost gets them both killed because of his eBay page… Well, let's just say 'pissed' is an understatement.
1. Satan's Camaro

**Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers or anything affiliated with them and I'm not making money off of this. This story is purely for my own and the reader's amusement. Rated 'M' for possible scenes of a sexual nature and the main heroine's pottymouth.**

**PS: Title subjected to possible change. **

**Summary: **Lorelei Witwicky didn't think she was normally an aggressive person, but when her Uncle Ron Witwicky pulled her out of bed in the middle of the night because her cousin Sam Witwicky managed to get arrested and then almost gets them both killed because of his eBay page… Well, let's just say _pissed__ is an understatement_.

_**Chapter 1**_

* * *

Dressed in black '_Monty Python_' pajama bottoms, a ratty over-sized '_Metallica_' shirt, and her monster feet slippers, Lorelei glared at the side of her cousin's head viciously with her arms crossed across her chest while he was 'interrogated' by a police officer.

"Look, I can't be any clearer than how crystal clear I am being. It just stood up." Sam said, desperately trying to get the officer to either believe him or get him to leave him alone.

"It just stood up? Wow. That's really neat. Okay, chiefie. Time to fill her up." The officer said, holding out a small container and tissue, "And no drippy-drippy. What are you rolling? Whippets? Goof balls? A little wowie sauce with the boys?"

Lorelei twitched in irritation, "You think he's on drugs?"

The officer ignored her and held up a pill bottle up, "What are these?" he rattled the pills slightly, "Found it in your pocket. "Mojo". Is that what the kids are doing now, a little bit of Mojo?"

Sam made a noise of disbelief, "Those are my dog's pain pills. He just had surgery."

Uncle Ron held his hands about a foot apart to show how big Mojo was, "You know, a Chihuahua."

Lorelei nearly smacked herself in the face when she saw Sam gaze blankly at the gun in the officer's jacket.

"What was that?" The guy demanded, straighten up and holding his jacket open a little more.

Sam just looked at him like he was crazy.

"You eyeballing my piece, 50 Cent? You wanna go?" The crazy officer snapped, leaning over Sam threateningly, "Make something happen. Do it. I promise you, I will bust you up."

Sam leaned away from the guy, looking at him from the corner of his eye, "Are you on drugs?"

Lorelei slapped her hands over her face, while Uncle Ron shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

"Damn it." Lorelei's curse was muffled by her hands and inaudible to everyone else but her uncle.

* * *

"I can't believe you lost your car after having it for less than a week!" Lorelei called over her shoulder at Sam as she walked out of the kitchen.

It was later in the day since, Uncle Ron and she had to pick her dunderhead cousin up from police station. Lorelei had spent that time expressing her irritation for having to get up in the middle of the night.

"Yeah yeah, let it go already!" Sam snapped, making a face behind his cousin's back before turning around.

Lorelei paused on her way up the stairs when she heard the sound of dishes crashing and Sam's sudden shriek.

"What the hell?" She groaned and headed back to the kitchen.

Lorelei paused in the doorway and stared at her cousin who hiding in the hallway that lead to the dining room, with his phone pressed to his ear.

"Miles listen to me, listen. My car, it stole itself. Okay." He whispered yelled, clutching Mojo to his chest, "Satan's Camaro, in my yard! It's stalking me!"

Lorelei had scooted closer, glancing out the window above the sink briefly before coming to stand besides her freaking out cousin. She flinched and rubbed her ear when Sam's voice reached a rather painfully high pitch.

Suddenly, he dropped Mojo and darted away, heading towards the door that lead to the garage. Lorelei sighed and hurried after the crazy teenage boy, making a noise of vexation when she saw him grab Aunt Judy's bike and take off out the front door.

The girl growled and grabbed her own bike, taking off after the idiot and catching up easily.

"What the hell are you doing, you moron?" She yelled as she raced beside him, glancing back and blinking when she saw the Camaro following them.

"The fu-" she was cut off by Sam hitting a bump on the sidewalk and flying over the handle bars.

Lorelei braked beside the downed boy, glancing briefly at the group of girls sitting in front of the Burger King where Sam had fallen that had started laughing.

"Sam?" Mikaela asked, staring at the two of them like they had grown an extra head, "That was, uh… that was awesome." She said in regards to Sam's face-plant.

"Felt awesome." Sam muttered standing getting to his feet while Lorelei watched unhelpfully from the side.

"Are you okay?" The tanned girl asked.

Sam shook his head and righted the bike, "No, I'm not okay, alright? I'm losin' my mind a little bit." He quickly hopped on it and Lorelei made a noise, "Getting chased by my car right now, gotta go!"

With that Sam took off, Lorelei not far behind him. She and Sam raced off down the street, Sam glancing back every now and then. Lorelei didn't bother, she could hear the Camaro's engine behind them, even over the sounds of traffic, it was that loud.

"Sam! I'm going to kill you!" Lorelei yelled, panting slightly while her legs used muscles she didn't even know she had as she followed her panicking cousin into a junk car graveyard in an old parking garage. The Camaro, unsurprisingly now, following them.

Lorelei snarled viciously and slapped Sam upside the head after he did a 180 and stopped. She quickly turned her bike around at the sound of police sirens.

'_You have got to be fuckin' kidding me.' _She thought crossly.

"Oh great. The cops are here." Sam said in relief.

"Sonovabitch." Lorelei muttered and followed after her dimwit relative as he rode his mom's bike towards the cop car.

"Officer!" Sam yelled, "Listen-" the cop car's door open and slammed into Sam, sending him to floor again.

Sam groaned from the concrete and Lorelei stopped her bike near his head. Throwing her bike to the side, Lorelei kicked the front bumper of the cruiser.

"What the hell, you piece of shit!" She snapped and helped Sam to his feet.

The idiot boy lurched forward to rest on the hood of the cruiser, "Ignore her!" Sam yelled and Lorelei scoffed.

"Officer, listen to me! Thank God, you're here!" Sam panted, "I've had the worst day ever! I've been followed here on my mother's bike, right?" He gestured wildly to the pink bike by Lorelei's feet before pointing behind the cruiser, "And my car's right and it's been following me and my cousin here. So, so get out of the car." Sam punctuated his words by slapping the hood of the car.

Lorelei grunted and fell backwards on her ass at the same time Sam did when the cruiser lurched forward suddenly.

"Again! What the hell, dipshit!" She squawked indignantly.

The car lurched forward again forcing Sam and Lorelei to crawl backwards.

"No! Stop!" Sam yelped, holding up one hand, "Oh God, okay."

Lorelei squeaked in fright and jerked backwards, grabbing Sam by the collar to pull him back with her.

"Okay! Alright! I'm sorry!" Sam squealed, his voice rising in pitch as the cruiser continued to lurch towards them.

"Holy shit!" Lorelei screamed when the headlights suddenly extended towards them, three inch spikes forming a circle around it.

"Please don't!" Sam screamed when the spikes got close to his face, "What do you want from me?"

The spiked headlights receded back into their proper place and Sam and Lorelei breathed a sigh of relief.

That relief was short lived when the police cruiser began to transform.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" Lorelei screamed, scrambling to her feet and grabbing Sam by his shirt collar before yanking him after her.

The two cousins raced away from the police cruiser-robot-thing.

"Oh shit!" Sam yelled, glancing back.

"Don't look back, you idiot! Just run!" Lorelei shrieked, keeping affirm grip on his wrist.

"OH MY GOD!" They screamed together when a swipe from the robot's huge hand sent the flying.

Lorelei groaned when she slammed into the roof of a beaten down car, Sam landing on the windshield. She felt a moment of relief when he didn't fall through it.

The relief was gone the next instant when the giant robot slammed a hand down beside the car they had landed on, the appendage turning into a wheel before turning back into a hand.

"Are you username: LadiesMan217?" The robot demanded.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Sam hollered, completely terrified.

"ARE YOU USERNAME: LADIESMAN217?"

Sam glanced up at Lorelei, who had rolled onto her hands and knees on the car's roof, "Yeah…"

"Where is the eBay item 21153? WHERE ARE THE GLASSES?" the robot yelled and slammed it's hand again before leaning back slightly.

That was all the opening Lorelei needed. She grabbed Sam's arm and leapt of the car, running as fast as she could. When she heard the robot flipped the car, she didn't turn back or let go of Sam's hand.

'_Sonovabitch!' _Lorelei mentally screamed when she saw Mikaela driving on her moped.

"Get back! GO!" Sam screamed, waving his free arm as Mikaela turned to drive towards them.

Lorelei let go of his hand just as he tackled the girl off her bike.

"God!" She grunted, "What is your problem, Sam?" she demanded, letting her helmet fall to the floor.

Lorelei was doubled-over and clutching at her chest while Sam spoke.

"Okay, there's a monster right there." He pointed in the direction he and Lorelei had just come from, "It just attacked me and my cousin.

"Here he comes!" Lorelei screamed, as the police-cruiser-that-was-a-robot came charging at them, sending another guy flying.

"Okay, you got to get up." Sam yelped, helping Mikaela to her feet.

Lorelei gasped when she saw Sam's yellow Camaro come racing towards Sam and Mikaela. Without a second thought, she darted forward, knocking them to ground again just as the Camaro spun and slammed into the robot-police-cruiser's legs, sending it flying. The Camaro did a complete circle and shrieked to a stop where the three teens were sprawled out on the ground. The passenger side door opened and Lorelei instantly darted inside, falling into the backseat.

"Sam, what is that thing?" Mikaela asked, sounding close to tears.

Sam grabbed her arms, "You have to get in the car. Get in the car. Trust me."

He didn't wait for her to respond, yanking her into the passenger seat while he rolled into the driver's seat.

"Go! GO GO!" Lorelei shrieked, slamming her fists on the front seats.

Instantly, the Camaro shifted gears and raced forward just as the robot cruise rolled to its feet and transformed back into a police cruiser in mid-air.

* * *

The Camaro floored it down a dirt road, the cruiser following not far behind.

"GO, GO, GO!" Sam screamed after glancing behind them.

Lorelei gripped the headrests of the front seat in a white-knuckled grip but stayed quiet, except for her panting breaths.

"Oh, God! We're gonna die! We're gonna die!" Mikaela screamed, gripping the oh-shit-bar above the door.

"No, we're not. No we're not. No, we're not gonna die." Sam said, trying to reassure her, "Trust me, he's a kick-ass driver!"

"Holy fuck!" Lorelei shrieked when the Camaro drove towards a wall made of stain glass.

"Oh, my God! No! We're gonna die!" Sam screamed in a high-pitch at the same time.

The Camaro drove through the abandoned warehouse, crashing through a wooden shelf.

"Oh my God!" Mikaela kept chanting, clutching at the car door as the Camaro fishtailed and headed back in the opposite direction, the police cruiser getting left behind.

The Camaro pulled into a dark, alley-like area between two warehouses and killed the engine and the lights. The locks clicking into place sent Mikaela and Sam scrambling for them.

"We're locked in." Sam stated.

"No shit, Sherlock." Lorelei muttered her blue eyes huge.

Sam ignored her and tried to start the car, punching the steering wheel when it wouldn't start, "The car won't start."

He glanced out the windows, "At least we ditched monster, right?"

Just then the monster police cruiser drove past their hiding place. It paused.

"You were saying?" Lorelei whispered, breathlessly.

All three of them held their breaths and Sam glanced at the key in the ignition as it turned.

"Okay, time to start." He murmured and the engine rumbled into life and the tired squealed.

The police cruiser backed up just as the Camaro jerked forward quickly. The cruise was just able to pull forward before the yellow muscle car could clip the bumper. The cruise was tailing them in moments.

The Camaro shot over a bridge towards an abandoned area and swerved, the passenger door open sent the three teens flying out and onto the ground.

"Oh my God…" Lorelei breathed as the Camaro began to transformed into eighteen foot something tall robot before taking a fighting stance similar to a boxer's.

She was so caught up in staring that Sam and Mikaela had to grab her arms and pull her away just as the police cruiser raced forward. It transformed and leapt, doing a neat flip before tackling the Camaro-robot to the ground. The cruiser-turned-robot jumped up, spiked things spinning where its hands used to be. Sam, Mikaela, and Lorelei scrambled away just as a smaller skeleton-like robot popped off of the police-cruiser-robot.

The little demon robot chased after the three teens they ran away, while the cruiser-bot rushed the Camaro-bot and slammed it with the mace like weapons on its hands.

"This one is for the Ark!" The police cruise robot shouted as it sent the Camaro robot flying away.

Sam, Mikaela, and Lorelei were running away from the two fitting robots when the little robot shot out from between some crates and tackled Sam to the ground.

"It's got me!" Sam yelled as the thing tried to climb up his body before Sam rolled over and tried to crawl away.

"SAM!" Lorelei yelled, darting back to him while Mikaela kept running.

Lorelei reached her cousin just as it pulled Sam's pants off.

"It's gonna kill me!" He shrieked and Lorelei slammed the bottom of her boot onto the robot's back.

She yanked Sam to his feet and pulled him after her as she ran away, the thing following them like some demented, robotic hunting dog. It tackled Sam again, sending him and Lorelei tumbling down a ravine. They hit the fence at the bottom, Sam jumping to his feet as the skeleton robot climbed onto him.

"Get off!" Sam yelled and yanked the thing over his shoulder.

It rolled a few feet before standing and charging back at Sam. Lorelei tried to yank the robot off of her cousin from behind, but it lashed out and a clawed hand sliced open her cheek.

"Sonovabitch!" She yelped but kept her grip on the top of its head, keeping it from biting Sam's face off.

Just them Mikaela came charging over welding a mini power saw. The dark-haired girl sliced the little robot's arms and began hacking it to pieces.

"Get it! Get it!" Sam cheered from a little bit behind her.

Lorelei put a hand on Mikaela's shoulder when the thing was just a head and the brunette rested the mini power saw on her other shoulder.

"Not so tough without a head, are you?" Sam asked when the head started to crawl away and Sam kicked it, sending it fly.

The three panted, before Sam grabbed both Lorelei's and Mikaela's hands.

"Here, come on." He said, leading them back towards where the larger robot's had been fighting.

* * *

The three walked half-way up the ravine warily, while the obviously victorious Camaro robot walked towards them.

"What is it?" Mikaela asked as the robot came closer.

"It's a robot." Sam said, in awe.

"No shit." Lorelei muttered, snarky after the multiple near death experiences she just had.

Sam glared at her before continuing, "But like a super advance robot. It's probably Japanese. Yeah, it's definitely Japanese."

Lorelei snorted and moved closer when the robot stopped at the top of the ravine a few feet away from them. It looked down at her with its hands on its hips.

"What are you doing?" Mikaela hissed in alarm, staring as Sam followed his cousin.

"He's doesn't want to hurt us." Lorelei said a lot more confidently that she felt, "He would have done so by now if he did."

Sam nodded, "She's right."

Mikaela threw her hands up, "Really? Do you two speak robot? Because they just had like a giant droid death match."

Sam walked closer until he was standing beside Lorelei, "I think it wants something from me."

"What?" Mikaela demanded.

"The other one was talking about his eBay page." Lorelei said helpfully, staring up at the robot in unconcealed awe before muttering, "This is just too fucking Twilight Zone-y."

Mikaela shook her head, "You are the strangest boy I have ever met."

Lorelei glanced at the darker haired girl, "I said that the first time I met him when we were five."

"Can you talk?" Sam asked, ignoring his cousin's comment.

The yellow robot leaned forward slightly, _**XM Satellite One... Digital Cable brings you... Columbia Broadcasting System…**_

"You use the radio to talk?" Lorelei called up, tilting her head back to look at her face area.

The Camaro clapped his hands and pointed at her, _**Thank you, you're beautiful You're wonderful, you're wonderful…**_

Lorelei smirked and glanced at Sam, "I like him."

Sam snorted, "You like anything that gives you a compliment, Lore."

Lorelei didn't disagree with him, mainly because it was partly true.

Sam turned back to the robot, "So what was that last night? What was that?"

The Camaro bot pointed towards the sky, _**Message from Starfleet, Captain… Throughout the inanimate vastness of space… And angels will rain down like visitors from Heaven! Hallelujah! **_Was the robot's pieced together reply.

"Visitors from heaven?" Mikaela murmured to herself.

"So you're like an alien?" She and Lorelei said together.

They glanced at each other and Lorelei gave the other girl an easy smile. The Camaro pointed at them and nodded before begin to transform back into Sam's yellow Camaro.

The passenger side door opened,_** Anymore questions you wanna ask?**_

"He wants us to get in the car." Sam said quietly.

Mikaela gave a nervous laugh, "And go where?"

Lorelei had climbed in without hesitating and poked her head out the door, "Fifty years from now, when you look back on your life, don't you want to be able to say you have balls to get in the alien car?"

Mikaela looked at Sam, then Lorelei before swallowing thickly and climbing into the car. Sam grinned to himself and followed. The Camaro paused and Mikaela leapt out and grabbed her purse and Sam's pants.

* * *

**Author's Note: OMIGOD DON'T KILL ME! –hides behind Ironhide–**

**I know I should be working on **_**The Girl That Can't Be Touched**_**, but I'm getting the first Transformers movie from the Bookmans by my house tomorrow and I the goddamn plot bunnies wouldn't leave me alone! Anyway, please review! I mean you don't have to, but it would be nice to know if I can branch out from the Harry Potter series (The predator story doesn't really count, because I don't think it's very good)….**


	2. Sex On Wheels

"This car's a pretty good driver." Mikaela commented, sitting in the center console and leaning against the passenger seat.

"Yeah. Why don't you sit on that seat there?" Sam asked, nodding towards the driver's seat.

"I'm not gonna sit on that seat. He's driving!" The brunette squeaked, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Sam nodded slightly and licked his lips, "Yeah. You're right. Maybe you should sit my lap." He said, turning to look at Mikaela.

Mikaela twitched slightly, "Why?"

"Well, I have the only seatbelt here." He explained, gesturing to the seatbelt, "Safety first."

The tanned girl sighed quietly, "Yeah. All right." She muttered and shifted into Sam's lap.

"See? That's better." Sam said, looking as if Christmas had come early as Mikaela leaned against him.

Mikaela looked at him from the corner of her eyes, "You know that seatbelt thing was a pretty smooth move."

Lorelei snorted a laugh from her spot in the back seat, having been quietly watching the whole thing.

Sam just grinned unrepentantly, "Thank you." Sam shifted to look behind him at his cousin, "Why don't you sit in the driver's seat?"

Lorelei smirked and crawled into the driver's seat, "Safety first right cousin?" Lorelei blinked when she felt the seatbelt click into place without her doing so, but she didn't comment.

Sam grinned and nodded at her, "Of course."

"You know what I don't understand." Mikaela said randomly after a few minutes and Sam made a questioning noise, "If he's like, this super advanced robot, why does he transform into this piece-of-crap Camaro?"

The music the radio had been playing as background noise shorted out with a whirl and the Camaro braked, fishtailing slightly. The passenger door flew open, forcing Mikaela and Sam out of the car. Lorelei frowned and tried to open the driver's side door but it didn't budge.

"See, now you pissed him off! That is sensitive. I mean, $4000 just drove away. With my cousin!" Lorelei heard Sam snap at Mikaela as the Camaro drove back the way they had just come.

'_Gee, thanks Sam. Glad to know I come before $4000.' _Lorelei thought dryly, only to scream a moment later when the Camaro lifted onto its two wheels on the passenger side.

"Holy shit!" She screeched and grabbed onto the oh-shit-bar with one hand and the center console with the other.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lorelei saw a blue flash before the Camaro righted itself. Blue eyes staring wide-eyed at the new leather interior of the car, "Holy fucking shit…"

The girl grinned broadly and thrust open the passenger side door when the Camaro rolled to a stop where he had left Sam and Mikaela.

"You were saying?" She drawled looking at their stun expressions, she grinned and climbed into the backseat again, patting the front seats lightly, "You're car has just turned into sex on wheels."

The Camaro gave a happy whirl from the radio, _**Thank you, darling… **_The old western movie phrase made Lorelei grin to herself.

"What? No way." Sam muttered and hurriedly climbed into the driver's side while Mikaela sat in the passenger's seat.

The two stared in awe at the new interior and grinned at each other while Sam grabbed the wheel to make it look like he was driving. The Camaro revved his engine before driving again.

* * *

The Camaro pushed open a set of gates that let into a closed off private property area and parked. Sam and Mikaela got out hurriedly and Mikaela held the door open for Lorelei to get out. The three looked around curiously, moving to stand in front of the Camaro.

"Oh my God." Lorelei breathed, staring at the bright flashes and the four glowing balls of fire that were shooting towards them, before seeming to spread out.

One slammed to the ground not too far from where the three were and Lorelei raced towards it, Sam and Mikaela run after her. The three stopped on a hill a stared down at the meteor in amazement, ducking down into the tall grass when it began to come apart.

"Wow…" Lorelei breathed as the alien robot stood and looked around before hurrying away from the crash site.

Sam grabbed his cousin's and Mikaela's hands, pulling them back to where the Camaro was still parked, "Come on." He muttered.

Lorelei resisted for a second, still watching the robot walk away before letting Sam lead her back the way they'd come.

* * *

The Camaro drove down a dark alley and Lorelei shifted to lean between the two front seats.

"Did the one we saw look naked to you two?" She asked, like it was a completely normal question.

Sam looked at his cousin like she had grown a second head, "What?"

"The alien robot we saw, did it look naked to you?"

"You're insane, you know that Lore."

"Kind of." Mikaela said after a few moments, "It looked like there were some gaps."

This time Sam looked at_** her **_like she was crazy and Lorelei stuck her tongue out at him.

"See, it wasn't a crazy question." She said.

"Whatever." Sam snapped and climbed out of the Camaro, which had parked during their little conversation.

Lorelei and Mikaela followed the former staring at the eerie fog that had just rolled in at the other end of the alley.

"That is just too creepy." She muttered and took a step back, bumping into the front bumper of the Camaro, when a massive semi-truck appeared. The Camaro's hood heated under her hands slightly and the engine revved.

The sound of sirens and loud engines made Sam and Lorelei turn to stare at the three cars that were driving towards them, before turning back to huge semi that had pulled up. Sam, Mikaela and Lorelei walked forward, stepping back slightly when the semi rolled to a stop a foot away from them and began to transform. The three teens turned in a circle when the others began to transform, effectively surrounding them. Lorelei noticed the robot that used to be a Pontiac Solstice GXP do a handstand and flip to its feet.

"Impressive." She commented blandly, looking at the fifteen foot something silver robot before her attention was turned back to the robot semi-truck who had leaned down until he was level with the three teens head.

"Are you Samuel James Witwicky, descendent of Archibald Witwicky?" The semi asked.

"They know your name." Mikaela breathed, unable to take her eyes off the massive thirty-two foot robot,

"Yeah." Sam said, acknowledging that he was indeed Samuel James Witwicky.

The robot looked from Sam to Mikaela to Lorelei before turning back to Sam, "My name is Optimus Prime. We are Autonomous Robotic Organisms from the Planet Cybertron."

"That's a mouthful." Lorelei murmured and flinched when Sam elbowed her in the side.

"But you can call us Autobots for short." The search and rescue hummer robot said, seeming to shift from foot-to-foot.

"Autobots." Sam and Lorelei said together, glancing at each other briefly.

Lorelei scratched her cheek, wincing slightly when her nails caught the scab that had formed, before snorting when the silver Autobot spoke.

"What's crackin' little bitches?" He asked, doing a fluid somersault and landing in a crouch, holding his chin area in his hands.

"My first Lieutenant. Designation: Jazz." Optimus introduced as Jazz did a funky little spin and jumped onto a parked car, crossing his arms in 'gangsta' pose.

Lorelei barked a laugh at the silver Autobot, "How the hell did he learn to talk like that?" She asked through her laughter.

Optimus Prime stood to his full height, "We've learned Earth's languages through the World Wide Web."

Lorelei snorted, "You can learn anything from the Internet." She commented offhandedly before turning to look at the burly Autobot that used to be a GMC Topkick.

"My weapons' specialist, Ironhide." Optimus gestured towards the black robot just as whirling came from him and his arms turned into massive cannons which he pointed at the three teens.

"You feelin' lucky punk?" Ironhide demanded and Sam swallowed.

"Easy Ironhide." Optimus said at the same time.

Ironhide grinned and shrugged, "Just kidding, I just wanted to show him my cannons."

"Nice guns, Dirty Harry." Lorelei complimented, moving forward to get a better look and Ironhide gave a sort of grin at her.

Optimus went on with the introductions, gesturing towards the search and rescue bot, "Our medical officer, Ratchet."

Ratchet seemed to sniff the air, "The boy's pheromone levels suggest he wants to mate with the dark haired female."

He said it so matter-of-factly that Lorelei had to clap her hands over her mouth to keep from laughing while Sam and Mikaela looked away from each other, Mikaela scratching the top of her head in embarrassment and Sam whistled innocently.

Optimus leaned down again, "You already know you guardian, Bumblebee." He said, straightening again.

Bumblebee bounced around, shadow boxing while his radio played, _**Check on the rep, yup second to none…**_ The radio played as he stopped bouncing to face the three teens.

"Bumblebee? So you're my guardian?" Sam asked, looking at Bumblebee who nodded and pointed at Lorelei.

"Me too?" She asked, pointing to herself and the Camaro Autobot chirped in agreement.

"His vocal processors were damaged in battle." Ratchet said as a red laser hit Bumblebee where Lorelei assumed his throat was, "I'm still working on them." He said as Bumblebee made gagging noises which the medic ignored.

Lorelei patted Bumblebee's foot, "Poor dude." She commented sadly and the Camaro chirped at her.

Suddenly, Mikaela turned to face Optimus, asking the question that had been on all three human teens' minds.

"Why are you here?"

"We are here looking for the Allspark." Optimus answered, "And we must find it before Megatron."

"Mega-what?" Sam asked at the same time Lorelei said, "Allspark?"

The large Autobot pressed something on the side of his head and his blue light shone out of his optics, creating a holograph like image around Sam, Mikaela, and Lorelei.

"Our planet was once a powerful empire, peaceful and just, until we were betrayed by Megatron, leader of the Decepticons. All who defied them were destroyed." Optimus began as large metal spikes appeared all around the three, some with robotic bodies on them.

"Our war finally consumed the planet, and the All Spark was lost to the stars. Megatron followed it to Earth, where Captain Witwicky found him..." Lorelei squeaked slightly and took a step back when an image of Megatron appeared.

"Our grandfather." Lorelei and Sam said together, glancing briefly at each other.

"It was an accident that intertwined our fates." Optimus continued, "Megatron crash-landed before he could retrieve the Cube. He accidentally activated his navigation system. The coordinates to the Cube's location on Earth were imprinted on his glasses."

"How did you know about his glasses?" Sam asked.

"eBay." Optimus and Lorelei said together, and the large bot nodded to her.

"eBay…" Sam muttered to himself and looked at Mikaela and Lorelei.

"If the Decepticons find the All Spark, they will use its power to transform Earth's machines and build a new army." Ratchet said, clenching his fist.

"And the human race will be extinguished." Optimus said, "Sam Witwicky, you hold to key to Earth's survival."

"We're fucked." Lorelei said blandly, Sam glared at her and it sounded like Ironhide snorted.

"Please tell me that you still have those glasses?" Mikaela asked pleadingly turning to look at him.

* * *

**Author's Note: Second chapter, the plot bunnies are still running rampant and I'm getting my Transformers movie today so that's exciting. Anyhooties, I'll try to post the next chapter of **_**The Girl That Can't Be Touched **_**and **_**The Girl That Can't Be Touched: The Early Years **_**later today. Thanks to everyone that faved/alerted this story.**


	3. PETITION: Not A Chapter

**Note to my lovely readers, this isn't a chapter, but please take the time to read it anyway, especially if you want to continue reading my stories. I promise I will post the next chapter in the next few days, this is just temporary and will be taken down when I post the next chapter. The reason I'm posting this petition is because I'm an a huge anti-censorship supporter and that is basically what FF is doing by deleting/destorying/removing certain stories. If a reader doesn't like things that are rated 'M' or stories that are considered 'MA' then they don't have to read it. There is ABSOLUTELY no point in bashing those stories, when they can just not read it and let the people who actually ENJOY reading them to do so.**

This is actually about how Fanfiction is deleting stories with too much sex or violence. Fanfiction will be losing a lot of readers and authors if this happens. Please take the time read what is below and if you don't have a story that you can post this petition as a chapter too, just PM me if you want your name added to the list. I'll be more than happy to oblige.

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that I believe violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be losing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

**1) ****Psudocode_Samurai**

**2) ****Rocketman1728**

**3) ****dracohalo117**

**4) ****VFSNAKE**

**5) ****Agato the Venom Host**

**6) ****Jay Frost**

**7) ****SamCrow**

**8) ****Blood Brandy**

**9) ****Dusk666**

**10) ****Hisea Ori**

**11) ****The Dark Graven**

**12)****BlackRevenant**

**13)****Lord Orion Salazar Black**

**14)****Sakusha Saelbu**

**15)****Horocrux**

**16)****socras01**

**17) ****Kumo no Makoto**

**18)****Biskoff**

**19)****Korraganitar the NightShadow**

**20)****NightInk**

**21)****Lazruth**

**22)****ragnrock kyuubi**

**23) ****SpiritWriterXXX**

**24) ****Ace6151**

**25)****FleeingReality**

**26)****Harufu**

**27)****Exiled crow**

**28)****Slifer1988**

**29)****Dee Laynter**

**30)****Angeldoctor**

**31)****Final Black Getsuga**

**32) ****ZamielRaizunto**

**33)****Fenris187**

**34)****blood enraged**

**35)****arashiXnoXkami**

**36)****Masane Amaha's King**

**37)****Blueexorist**

**38)****Nero Angelo Sparda**

**39)****Sharkteeth**

**40)****DAPC**

**41)****Kyuubi16**

**42)****bunji the wolf**

**43)****EternalKnight219**

**44)****Wolvenstrom**

**45)****donalgraeme**

**46) ****Rin O' Gen**

**47)****Fuyutaro son**

**48)****Kikyohater220**

**49)****chaos-bardock**

**50)****Leafy8765**

**51)****Philip Ontakos**

**52)****tamys**

**53)****kenegi**

**54) ****angelbeets**

**55) ****juia**

**56) ****DirkSamuelsMusicTheory**

**57) ****Rin O' Gen**

**58) ****Blood Shifter2**

**59) ****Plague's Vengeance**

**60)****Eva Sirico**

**61) ****Bri P**

**62) ****SeverusSnape18**

**63) ****The Thunder Alchemist**

**64) ****coolblast**

**65) Allycat817**

**66) Unlawfultears**

**66) Kyubii Chan**

**67) bookworm267**

**68) Mai Ascot**

**69) Lizzy0308**

**70) poptropican **

**71) the one with a divine smile**

**72) Ivanoma**

**73) Sun-MoonGoddess**

**74) lovingyouisbest**

If you could do what some other authors have done and post this petition as a temporary new chapter on some of your stories to help spread the word? It would help a lot it's how I found out about this.


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